I haven’t posted a lot in the last few months. While running this blog and the social media accounts tied to it are a true passion, I’ve been dealing with a lot in my personal life. From the title of this post, you likely know where I’m going with this …
After a rocky few months, my father recently passed away. I can’t even begin to describe how heartbroken I am. He was the first man I ever loved. And, until recently, he was still the person I shared all of my stories with and went to for advice. Throughout my life, my dad instilled in me the many qualities I’m most proud of — from my hard work ethic to my sincere love for dogs. My mom and I always jokingly called him Dog Man … because he adored all dogs, and they adored him.
The night of his passing, I witnessed an immediate reaction from his Chihuahua, Pippa (as well as my two dogs, who were extremely close to him). One sniff of the bed where he spent most of his days and Pippa immediately jumped back. A look of worry appeared on her face. It’s as if she knew. And, in the days that followed, she just seemed off. Her contagious energy and zest for life had dulled. Like the people in our family, Pippa is grieving.
Signs of a Grieving Dog
Some people question: “Can dogs feel the intense emotions of grief as we understand it?”
While we can’t simply ask our pups to describe how they’re feeling after a loss, we can observe them. And most evidence indicates that when dogs lose a close companion (whether the loved one had two legs or four), they do grieve.
In many ways, dogs react to the heartbreaking change much as people do. They may:
- Become depressed and move around more slowly
- Become lethargic/sleep more than usual
- Experience a decrease in appetite
- Have possible potty accidents in the house
- Retreat from playing
- Withdraw from people and other pets OR become more clingy
- Experience increased anxiety, displayed by behaviors such as panting, pacing, and even destruction
- Search for their deceased companion – sniffing for them and lying down in their usual spot on the couch or bed
- Exhibit changes in vocal patterns
Remember this: Just like every person handles grief differently, so do our furry friends.
With Pippa, we noticed her fun-loving personality fade. She had no interest in chasing after her beloved ball and just wanted to curl up on the bed by herself. She spent hours snoozing on the same spot dad used to rest.
Breaking a Bond
When we welcome a dog into our family, they often develop strong emotional attachments to their people and fellow pups. Experts say, the stronger the bond, the greater the grief may be. Makes sense, right?
Our Attitude Impacts Our Pups
Dogs sense our emotions — they can pick up on our moods and expressions. Plus, thanks to their powerful sniffers, they can actually detect subtle human odors that reveal when we’re stressed or nervous. The studies on this topic are pretty impressive.
Along with sensing our emotions, researchers say, dogs, to a great extent, mirror the stress level of their human companions. So, as we grieve, it’s pretty fair to say our dogs will likely feed off of our feelings of sadness.
As we go through our own emotional rollercoaster, remain mindful of your dog’s feelings and needs too.
According to the AKC: “Similar to humans, the grieving process differs for each individual dog experiencing it, lasting from weeks to months.”
How Can I Help My Dog Cope?
- Try to Keep Routine – Dogs thrive on consistent routine and structure. To the best of your ability, try to maintain the same feeding times, walking schedule, etc. This will help Fido feel a sense of normalcy.
- Monitor Meal Time – Some grieving dogs experience a lack of appetite. But, it’s important for them to fill their tummies with proper nutrition. So, monitor their meals. If Fido ignores the food in his bowl, try making mealtime fun by busting out the enrichment puzzles. Or, work mealtime into a training session (where you call out a command and then give bites of food versus treats).
- Provide Mental and Physical Stimulation – While your pup may not feel like playing with his toys, it’s important to keep his mind and body active. So, try going on long and calming walks, where your pup has time to sniff around and explore.
- Be Affectionate – Some quiet time on the couch filled with puppy petting and words of praise may be just what the doctor ordered (for both the dog and the person)
- Invite Friends Over – If your dog is usually a social butterfly (and you feel up to chatting), it may help to invite a close friend over or schedule a puppy play date.
- Reinforce Good Behavior and Redirect Inappropriate Behavior – Remember to praise your pup when he eliminates outside, follows through with verbal cues, finishes his food, and demonstrates all-around good behavior. And, unwanted behavior? Well, I’m a huge advocate for redirecting inappropriate actions versus scolding Fido for them. Some increased barking or howling may be the result of grief. Instead of yelling at your dog to quiet down, re-set his mind by changing his focus.
See additional tips to help calm dog anxiety in THIS article!
